I’m a 35‑year IT veteran, back from the glorious era when dial‑up screamed at a blazing 14.4k, and your connection dropped the second someone picked up the phone. Yes, that’s right, I’m older than Google, Facebook, and MySpace. We lived on IRC, everyone had ICQ, and AOL proudly announced, “You’ve got mail!” like it was cutting‑edge innovation instead of the bare minimum.

My first real job in tech was at a dial‑up ISP, where I mastered troubleshooting and, more importantly, developed an almost supernatural level of patience. The kind of patience you only acquire after explaining for the hundredth time that, no, unplugging everything randomly is not a solution. I also made some lifelong friends there, probably because shared trauma from support calls really brings people together.

Out of that chaos, two of us decided it would be a brilliant idea to start Zone Digital Networks, a pre‑dot‑com‑bust hosting and email company. Somehow that “temporary side project” stretched into 15 years, which in internet time is basically several geological eras. Sure, it could have been a perfect pump‑and‑dump story, but unfortunately, we lacked the foresight, clearly a missed opportunity.

Fast forward to today, and I’ve spent the last 20 years managing an IT department. At this point, if you can dream it, I’ve either seen it, fixed it, or listened to an impressively creative explanation of why it absolutely wasn’t someone’s fault. The stories alone could fill a library—though I’d have to redact most of them for your protection.

Fact, I don’t go out looking for customers; they tend to find me, usually after something has already gone spectacularly wrong somewhere else. My approach is as simple and drama‑free as technology allows, which, admittedly, is still a bit of a gamble. For a small fee, I’ll even manage everything so you can enjoy the time‑honored tradition of blaming someone else when it inevitably breaks.

Honestly, I don’t really want your business… but if you manage to track me down, we can start some sort of parasitic relationship. Or, if you prefer, I can introduce you to new and exciting ways to turn your money into a rapidly expanding “cloud” of smoke. After all, you’ve made it this far, what’s one more questionable decision? I’ve got you covered.

Why do I continue to do this, you ask? Well, let me explain. The best part of web hosting is, of course, the “free hosting” aspect, entirely funded by other people’s invoices. It’s a beautifully balanced ecosystem… right up until it isn’t. Then things get interesting, and suddenly everyone’s trying to figure out who, exactly, is the parasite in the relationship.