8:00 AM – The Daily Standup (Emphasis on Stand)

We start with a standup meeting because someone, somewhere, read a business book that said standing increases productivity. Nothing says “effective collaboration” like trying to discuss a broken CRM pipeline while your legs slowly go numb.

“Any blockers?”
“Yes, Susan in accounting says Excel deleted her spreadsheet.”
“Did she save it?”
“She says she thought about saving it very strongly.”

Good. Great. Off to a fantastic start.

9:15 AM – Excel: The Emotional Support Application

Excel is not just software. It’s a lifestyle. A religion. A place where logic goes to retire.

Ticket #34721: “My formula isn’t working.”

We investigate. The formula is:

=SUM(A1:A10)

The numbers are in column B.

I gently explain the issue, trying not to sound like I’ve had this exact conversation 4,000 times before.

User response: “Well it worked yesterday.”

Ah yes. The magical yesterday—when physics was different.

10:30 AM – ERP: Where Dreams Die

ERP systems are fascinating. They exist to streamline processes by creating 17 additional steps.

Ticket #34755: “I can’t submit my expense report.”

The error reads: “Field ‘Department Code’ is required.”

The Department Code field is blank.

User asks: “What should I put there?”

I resist the urge to respond with interpretive dance.

12:00 PM – Lunch (Optional, Theoretically)

Lunch is that magical time where we all pretend we’re stepping away but actually keep answering messages like:

• “Quick question—are you busy?”
• “(Seen at 12:01 PM, regret at 12:02 PM)”

There are no quick questions. Only questions that end in a 45-minute screen share.

1:15 PM – CRM: Customer Relationship Mayhem

CRMs are designed to help manage customer data. In practice, they help distribute confusion evenly across departments.

Ticket #34789: “All my leads disappeared.”

After investigation… they changed a filter.

User response: “Oh wow! You’re amazing!”

Yes. I moved a dropdown. Please hold your applause.

2:30 PM – Outlook: The Gateway to Chaos

Outlook contains:

• 40,000 unread emails
• 17 calendars
• A vague sense of dread

Ticket: “I didn’t get the meeting invite.”

They did. It’s just unread.

User explanation: “I saw it but didn’t think it was for me.”

3:45 PM – The Mysterious Case of the “Slow Computer”

Checklist:

• 37 browser tabs open
• 6 Excel files, each massive
• System uptime measured in weeks

Solution: reboot.

User: “Will that close everything?”

Yes. Including this chapter of suffering.

4:30 PM – The Hero Moment

Occasionally, we fix something real. Something complex.

User says: “Wow, that was actually really helpful. Thank you.”

And for a moment, it feels worth it.

Then immediately:

New Ticket: “My password doesn’t work.”

Final Thoughts: The IT Manager’s Guide to Inner Peace

• Users are creative problem solvers… just not always in the direction you’d expect.
• Every error message will be ignored at least once.
• “It worked yesterday” is a belief system.
• Sarcasm works best when muted in meetings.

And most importantly:

No matter how advanced technology becomes, the real challenge will always be… people.

But hey, without them, we wouldn’t have jobs. …Or stories this entertaining.